okay besties, the market's serving some serious drama today and i'm absolutely living for it! we've got apple literally changing ceos like it's a seasonal wardrobe refresh, plus some absolutely gorgeous gains from our financial girlies.
the gainers 💅
intuit absolutely slayed today, climbing +2.94% to $404.83 because honestly, tax season never goes out of style and she knows her worth. when you're the queen of turbotax, you don't chase trends — you set them
salesforce decided to serve us some serious customer relationship realness, jumping +2.27% to $186.27 and hitting a high of $189.00. crm said "i manage relationships better than most people" and the market was like "periodt"
jpmorgan chase strutted up +2.16% to $316.99 because when you're a banking baddie, you don't let a little geopolitical uncertainty dim your shine. jamie dimon's bank account said "we're thriving regardless"
adobe photoshopped her way to a +1.71% gain at $248.63, proving that creative software is still the main character in this digital economy era. literally cannot exist without her and she knows it
goldman sachs also grabbed that +1.71% energy, hitting $941.74 because investment banking royalty doesn't do anything halfway. when you're almost at a thousand dollars per share, you're basically financial couture
megacap tea ☕
apple just pulled the ultimate plot twist with tim cook stepping down and john ternus taking the ceo crown — like, the timing couldn't be more chaotic with their whole ai strategy rollout happening right now. dan ives is out here calling it a "surprise move" and honestly, same energy as when your favorite influencer suddenly announces they're switching aesthetics mid-rebrand.
meta's having a moment but not the cute kind, dropping -2.56% to $670.91 even though they're literally planning to lay off 8,000 people for ai restructuring starting may 20th. imagine falling while you're literally reorganizing for the future — the market's giving mixed signals and i'm here for the drama
amazon's making moves with that anthropic partnership — dropping another $5 billion investment while anthropic promises to spend $100 billion on aws cloud services, which is basically the corporate equivalent of "you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours but make it billions."
the market's giving us main character energy today with all this ceo shuffling and ai spending that's reshaping literally everything, and honestly, we love a good transformation moment even when it comes with some volatility.
not financial advice. for entertainment only. past vibes do not indicate future vibes.